Bishan said,
[JS thanks for your insightful post (inverted comma’s)]
“I have been thinking a lot about what makes it possible for Sinhala people who in most areas of their lives seem kind, generous, helpful, caring people but become something else when it comes to the Tamils. People who can and do deny what is happening to the Tamil community in Sri Lanka… who say things like “there is no oppression of Tamils” or “Tamils have no legitimate grievances”, etc., Sometimes I have thought that it might be guilt… that it would be too painful for people to accept and allow into their consciousness what is being done in their name and by a state they identify with as their own…etc”

[I think it is a combination of the reasons you mention, also, i would add simply “pure ignorance from not wanting to see things from the other persons perspective”. This goes for some Sinhalese, and some Tamil people hand in hand.]
____
I agree this is something both Tamils and Sinhalese (and pretty much all people I have come across in fact) have difficulty with this… and the sad truth is (I believe at least) that all of us human beings are yearning to be understood and seen from our perspective and yet so few people are able to give this to each other…
____

[Also JS, my answer to your question]
“And at times, I have been in despair about how to ’speak truth’ in a way that can be heard (without denial, without rejection of the messenger and the message both)…”
[I think the way to speak the truth best is with balance. ie give both sides of a story, and remember not to generalise.]

____
Thanks for this… I am aware that generalizing is definitely a problem… I think I do this sometimes when I am in pain/despair and sometimes when I am not clear in my thinking… and I do know the damage this does… and it leads to such unnecessary pain (people feeling not seen for who they really are, etc.,). So I am glad to be reminded of this…
____

[I think whilst I agree what you’ve said about all these flawed view point, which happen to be owned by the Sinhalese Buddhist majority in many cases (or most case even as the case may or may not be), I still believe we shouldn’t “generalise” these views to Sinhalese Buddhist ideaology. Firstly because these views are not the case in all Sinhalese Buddhist, which is not the case, because I myself could use this label, and I do not think this way, and secondly for all the sinhalese buddhist people out there who are also against these things, or slightly against these things, they might not embrace this concept if they feel they are being attacked or insulted.]

____
Yes, this is the other problem with generalizing… putting people into camps based on a label or category… I don’t like it when its done to me and I regret doing it to others… in a sense, this is the intellectual equivalent of putting all Tamils into buses and sending them off to the North east simply because they are Tamil and stay in lodges… (which is an extension of generalizing “Tamil speaking people” to mean “LTTE” or “potential LTTE” or “dangerous”, etc.,) It all begins in our minds, in how we label and categorize people instead of seeing them fully human. Our thinking determines our actions after all. So, I want to apologize for generalizing about “Sinhala people” and therefore not seeing you who think differently than what I outlined above.
____

A quote I found online which speaks aptly to this discussion:
“Run your fingers through my soul. For once, just once, feel exactly what I feel, believe what I believe, perceive as I perceive, look, experience, examine, and for once; just once, understand.” – Anonomoys

And another on to follow Gandhi’s quote which initiated this discussion in the first place:
“Eventually you will come to understand that love heals everything, and love is all there is.” Gary Zukav (American author)

I agree that Tamils can’t live in harmony with Sinhalese, or for that matter anyone else. We must therefore grant them a homeland in the North and all the Tamils living outside the North should be sent to their homeland. No Sinhalese would want to go to the Tamil homeland and no Tamils would be allowed to live in the Sinhala homeland. How great and peaceful would that be!

Mind you aadhavan, this time Gotabaya is not going to provide free buses.

Of course, there’s the small matter of fundamental rights to all citizens but has snoo snoo accepted the Tamil homeland claim? That’s one of the Thimpu principles accepted. One down, two to go.

You obviously have a pretty bleak view of the future and the potential of Sri Lankans to rise above the kind of examples you have provided.